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Drinking sessions = therapy.

Yesterday one of my friends got dumped, so naturally, we started talking about relationships and love, and this is what I came home with. We all start of idealistic, lost in the idea of romance, pure of heart and innocent. We love, blindly, foolishly, believing that we’d do anything, because given the chance we actually would have.

Then it ends, that first romance, your first love, its gone. And either in the relationship or once its over, we become completely screwed up. We lose our faith, we become numb, cynical and cold. We save our love for alcohol, ciggies, or whatever other vice you find enough escapism in and for our friends who hold our hands and indulge in the vices with us.

Then the power is really in our hands, you get this urge to completely screw up someone else. To break their heart, to fuck their brains out, to hurt them the way you were hurt, its like some sick justification to ourselves that we are more then the other person made us out to be. Its often the person who got dumped that goes through this shit, because there is the realization that we don’t have to be nice/civil/ sweet or whatever other thing you want to call it. We can be absolute bitches and assholes because someone was like that to us. Its a very vicious cycle.

But is that really how it all ends? Do we all just spread the pain in the hope that it will make us feel better? What will it take to find someone else with a soul as tortured and twisted as your own who will love you because he understands and he realizes that he has had enough fun for one lifetime? I’m really getting tired of this game. And I’m only 20.

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Written by priya.balraju

January 27, 2008 at 1:00 pm

Posted in Friends

Tagged with ,

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