hello stranger.

My brain is in a mess.

I’ll finally

with 4 comments

qygot5dgolg8d7xfy2qcpsxho1_500jpgI think I’m having a quarter life crisis, people. I feel like I’m stuck in A FUCKING RUT. Like I don’t live enough. As though every day, every single predictable day is stealing my life away from me and I’m not doing anything about it. I know I can’t do anything (much) till I’m done studying, but then what? I really do not have a clue about what I want to do with my life.

Studying is such an escape.

You know why people always say their school days were the best? Because it probably was the most unpredictable. At least you have time to sleep in on weekdays, be a little crazy, tell everyone it’s because you’re still in school. But then you grow up, start work, become boring. And that’s just the way it is for the rest of your life. That’s why people envy the young so much.

I mean think about it, if the friends are worth it, you’ll keep them. School hardly ever teaches you anything in class anyway, you just kind of drift through the hours, trying to absorb things, waiting to go home and hit the sack. That’s all there is to it, no?

There’s no living after that though. Every year, you work like a fucking dog to save money, to go on a holiday. Only to return to the little space in your life you were in before. Back to square one. Your holiday didn’t change your life, you probably dreaded going back to work, but that’s just the way it is. It’s almost as though that holiday emphasized the fact that your life sucks.

I feel like I need a direction, and I know I’ve got to do that for myself. Because recently, it’s become clearer that I am alone on this journey.

No one else really knows what you’re going through, not your closest friend, not your mom, not your lover. Even if you think that you’ve told them everything, there’s no way that they’ll truly know. No one will ever get you completely. There are some things that people will help you on your way with and other things that you have to just figure out on your own. I guess this is one of those things.

Say hi – November was white, December was grey


Written by priya.balraju

April 2, 2009 at 1:05 am

Posted in Personal, Rant

4 Responses

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  1. that’s what makes someone interesting right? pple are always confused, like the characters in woody allen’s films. if you already have a direction and life’s planned out 30 yrs ahead, where’s the fun in finding yourself?


    April 2, 2009 at 2:10 am

    • hahahaha woody allen. Dude even while reading my blog you are using school references.


      April 2, 2009 at 3:25 pm

  2. I get what u mean dude, but there are loads of things u could look forward to. The exciting thing about life is the unknown, and that u get to set down the path that you want to take and see where it leads u. I always feel like I’m not doing enough with my life too (esp with a full-time job), but I know that one day i’m going to be a part of something bigger and i’m the one that has to make that step. I’m want to go down the rabbit hole, dive right into the unkown. It sounds dead exciting to me. But I still need to find that balance between stability and toeing the line y’know? Give it some space, u can think about it make small steps out of your comfort zone, u might like it. hahahha


    April 2, 2009 at 11:48 am

    • Thanks for the loooooong comment. But yea, I get what you mean. Balance. And yes I really might like it 😉


      April 2, 2009 at 3:24 pm

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