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My brain is in a mess.

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I’ve finished all my exams, so I’m done with school. No more classes, no more projects, no more exams, its just left me with LOTS OF TIME. And I haven’t been doing the things I usually do after my papers, like clean my wardrobe, table, shelves. I’ve just been hanging out with people and watching 6 Feet Under. Another thing I’ve been doing a lot of is thinking.

The last quarter of this year has been a rather bad one, three of my close friends had friends who passed away. Another’s grandma had a heart attack. My grand aunty had two heart attacks, and today she cannot undergo bypass surgery which she was scheduled for because her kidneys are too weak. I know she’s strong and that she’ll get better, but when she had that second heart attack, my home was in such chaos.

Life is so fucking precious ay? Death is inevitable, and somehow life goes on, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

I’ve begun to think that we need to set our priorities straight. Somethings in life should always be more important then others. People you love should mean more then anything else, and its important to keep these people close.

So that one day, when I am gone, people around me will know that I lived my life in a way that I considered to be full. That I loved enough to leave a mark in the hearts of those I consider important. That I had no regrets, because I pursued opportunities that were presented to me and that I was happy.

People always say good things about the souls that have passed, censoring the bad. Perhaps we should all be aiming to be the good things that we want people to say about us, and fuck the bad. I don’t care about the people I don’t consider important. There comes a point in your life when you are able to distinguish the people you care about from the people you should be cordial with.

I’ve learnt how to tell them apart and I’ve decided that I don’t give a fuck about them, life’s too short for shit like that. So say I love u as often as you can, hold them close, hug them goodbye and kiss them goodnight. Being reassured that you are loved is something that you will never tire of.

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Written by priya.balraju

November 7, 2009 at 11:01 pm

Posted in Family, Friends, Love, Personal

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